(Raw. Real. Reclaiming.)

I didn’t go to Tarot because I was curious. I went because I was shattered. I wasn’t trying to predict the future — I was trying to survive the now.

There was a night I sat on the floor, holding my breath, holding my tears, holding myself. The only thing I had the strength to do was shuffle my deck — hands trembling, heart aching.

The first card I pulled? The Tower. The message wasn’t gentle. It was violent in its truth. It said, “Let it all fall. What you’re clinging to is already burning.”

That card didn’t give me hope. It gave me permission. Permission to stop pretending. Permission to break. Permission to finally say — “I am not okay.”

The second card was Death. I stared at it like it was a mirror. Not an ending — but an initiation. A sacred cremation of the version of me who begged for love. Who tolerated crumbs. Who kept proving her worth like it was up for debate.

That was the night I stopped asking the cards, “Will they come back?” And started whispering, “When will I come back to myself?”

Since then, my healing has never been loud. It’s been ritual. Repetition. Sacred silence.

Every morning, I sit cross-legged, light a diya, and place my hands across my chest in a Butterfly Hug. I tap left… right… left… right… and repeat the switchword that saved me:

“CUT-CLEAR-LOVE-RENEW-GOLDEN-OPEN.”

I let it echo in my bones like a prayer too ancient for language.

I don’t use Tarot to chase love anymore. I use it to anchor myself when I’m drifting.

When I pull the 4 of Pentacles, I ask, “What fear am I gripping today?” When I see the Hanged Man, I lean into surrender. When I meet the Star, I remember — I was always the light I was searching for.

To the one reading this who feels abandoned, tired, or hollow… Hear me loud: “Letting go is not the end of your story. It’s the beginning of your return.”

As Rakshana always says — “You don’t heal by holding on tighter. You heal when you hold yourself softer.”

Start now. Not tomorrow. Not next month. Sit with your mirror. Lock eyes with your pain. Whisper: “I release with love. I reclaim with power. I rise with grace.”

Then shuffle your deck, not to know what’s coming, but to remember who you are.

This is not the end. This is your becoming.

With divine fire,

Rakshana S

Tarot Manifestation Coach & Trauma Healer